You hear it a lot… The power of positive thinking. What does this mean to you? Does it make you beam with Pollyannaish pride or does it conjure a Goth sense of cynicism?

In my life, I have felt both.

Life doesn’t always allow for positivity as an easy choice, I know that. Sometimes your car gets totaled. Sometimes a beloved one passes away. Sometimes you get a cancer diagnosis. Sometimes horrible things happen and life becomes so very hard.

Now that I have Stage 4 breast cancer how do I feel about the power of positivity? I now see positivity as a CHOICE.

When I was told I had to get a mastectomy, I was upset. When the doctors then learned my cancer had spread, I now wish a mastectomy was a choice I had to eradicate my cancer. A mastectomy would be easier than what lies ahead for me. I will always have cancer, no matter how many therapies or surgeries I get. Because of this adversity, I now crave positivity to keep my soul nourished. I see it as essential. I see positivity as always being there, waiting for me to discover it. I see it as a choice.

How we respond to our hardships is key. Let yourself feel the annoyance, the discomfort, the adversity, the suffering. Let yourself grieve. Ugly cry. Allow the feelings in. Talk to loved ones. Go to therapy.

When you have allowed yourself to grieve, summon resilience from your core, like lighting an internal Olympic flame. When adversity comes in, choose to see something positive in this circumstance by asking yourself such questions as:

• What can this circumstance teach me about feeling GRATEFUL for positive things in my life?
• How can being QUIET and STILL in this time help to deepen my empathy for others?
• How am I REACHING OUT and CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE in these moments of pain?
• (Something that also helps me stay grounded and resilient is to envision myself as a young child and ask myself if I am doing that sweet little girl justice with the choices I am making.) I then ask myself: Am I bathing in a toxic stew of sadness and anger or AM I THRIVING by asking others to hold my hand and steady me through the hard times?

What positivity lies in a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis, you may wonder?

• My bonds with loved ones are stronger.
• I do things that I once saw as impossible.
• I don’t take my talents or the love in my life for granted.
• I have zero tolerance for toxic situations or people.
• I love and laugh more deeply.
• I don’t care if I’m awkward or weird or that sometimes I look tired.

REMEMBER…

YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. BAD LIFE EVENTS DO NOT DEFINE YOU. THERAPY CAN BE HEALING.

POSITIVITY IS A CHOICE.

(Wait, Karla, aren’t you the Volunteer Manager at Laradon? Why are you talking so much about positivity?) 

Giving back in the way of volunteerism in your community is an avenue that helps foster positivity. Volunteering can foster positivity in you, in the people that you are volunteering with and for.

Do you have friends that would like to volunteer with Laradon’s population of amazing individuals? Please send them our way!

Life is a gift, even the hard moments, if you choose to see it that way.
Stay awkward, brave, and kind. Be a light for others.

Warmly,

Karla Zelvis
Volunteer and Special Events Manager